Happy Fun Cog

I'm on the phone with a user, trying to help him fix a technical problem, and he is taking every opportunity to snipe at me. I'm talking passive aggressive comments, outright criticism of me, generalized complaints about computer and software (because hey, if you work in IT then you understand every fucking piece of software and every piece of hardware ever made!) and just on and on and on. This particular guy is like this all the time. It's unbelievable. What is it with some people? Do people like this not know that they're just a fountain of negativity and they're making everyone's life difficult around them? Are they so full of themselves that they think that they have to complain about everything, that everything should work smoothly for them and if not it's a fucking crime against humanity? Forget Hitler and the Jews! The REAL crime is that I can't get online! Woe is me!

You fucking cocksucker. I'm spending HOURS trying to get past this problem, a problem that I didn't create but is a result of the fact that management made a decision to rush the setup of this whole fucking software and now it's blowing up on us. I'm doing everything I can to help you do your job, and all you can do is bitch and moan and take digs at the very people who are trying to help you because you're a fucking cunt who somehow thinks the world owes him perfection. The world doesn't owe you shit, little man. You're a fucking bane to everyone who speaks to you. And I always end up helping you because the other techs are so sick of your shit that they won't pick up any ticket that has your name. So fuck you. I hope you feel at least as half as miserable as you make others feel. You're a whining piece of shit and we all hate you.