Thursday, April 08, 2010
Guilt
As I've mentioned in recent posts, I've been working really hard lately, pulling 12 hour days and going to the office on weekends. It finally caught up with me and, as of yesterday, I officially have a nasty case of viral pink eye that requires eye ointment 3 times a day and two oral doses of antibiotics (it's not just a virus; there are complications involving pustules that we shan't go into).
Because of this, I had to tell my boss that I could not make a planned business trip to Phoenix on Sunday. Besides the medical and comfort problems inherent in getting on a plane with pink eye, I didn't want to be interacting with the software users when my eyes are so swollen and gross that it looks like somebody punched me repeatedly in the eyes with gloves made of snot.
My boss then assigned one of my co-workers to take my place. I felt, and still feel, horribly guilty. It doesn't matter that it's totally logical for me to cancel my travel plans, nor does it matter that the only reason I have pink eye is because of work-related stress (this happens to me once every 1-2 years; it's always stress related), NOR does it matter that even with pink eye I was working until 10 PM last night. Nothing matters except for the fact that I feel horribly guilty about not being able to fulfill every work-related obligation that is put in front of me.
I can see how ridiculous it is to feel guilty, yet if it weren't for the urging of my girlfriend, I probably would've gotten on the plane to make that business trip no matter how much pain I was in. I always seem to bounce between feeling horribly guilty for not being the perfect employee and feeling resentful about the pressure that I always feel to do my best.
In short, I'm kind of stubborn and prone to guilt and I'm glad that I have people in my life who give me good advice.
Because of this, I had to tell my boss that I could not make a planned business trip to Phoenix on Sunday. Besides the medical and comfort problems inherent in getting on a plane with pink eye, I didn't want to be interacting with the software users when my eyes are so swollen and gross that it looks like somebody punched me repeatedly in the eyes with gloves made of snot.
My boss then assigned one of my co-workers to take my place. I felt, and still feel, horribly guilty. It doesn't matter that it's totally logical for me to cancel my travel plans, nor does it matter that the only reason I have pink eye is because of work-related stress (this happens to me once every 1-2 years; it's always stress related), NOR does it matter that even with pink eye I was working until 10 PM last night. Nothing matters except for the fact that I feel horribly guilty about not being able to fulfill every work-related obligation that is put in front of me.
I can see how ridiculous it is to feel guilty, yet if it weren't for the urging of my girlfriend, I probably would've gotten on the plane to make that business trip no matter how much pain I was in. I always seem to bounce between feeling horribly guilty for not being the perfect employee and feeling resentful about the pressure that I always feel to do my best.
In short, I'm kind of stubborn and prone to guilt and I'm glad that I have people in my life who give me good advice.
Comments:
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God, you guilty types make me sick. Why is it that white American males always have to feel guilty about everything? We already carry most of the tax burden. Why the guilt? What would make you feel better, if you were poor and oppressed? Where does this fetishization of "Any life experience but my own" come from?
Do you realize how hard your guilt makes it for the rest of us, what crappy standards the rest of us are now held to because you're so whipped by the PC guilt machine? Why do you have to feel so guilty? Thank of all the brave men who died fighting Hitler in WWI; they're dying in vain because of you. Seriously, you feeling guilty is akin to digging up their corpses and shitting on them. That's what you're doing right now. You're shitting on the bodies of American heroes, poor boys who were sent across the ocean to fight for the freedom of others for no other reason then the sake of freedom, for the sake of God. You are basically shitting on God because of your guilt. Why do you have to feel so guilty, you asshole? You've screwed everything up. And the firefighters. The firefighters are basically dying in vain because of you. You feeling the way you feel and living the way you live is basically akin to killing firefighters and shitting on their children. You are a shitty person and the cause of all that is wrong in this country and world. Stop feeling guilty!
Do you realize how hard your guilt makes it for the rest of us, what crappy standards the rest of us are now held to because you're so whipped by the PC guilt machine? Why do you have to feel so guilty? Thank of all the brave men who died fighting Hitler in WWI; they're dying in vain because of you. Seriously, you feeling guilty is akin to digging up their corpses and shitting on them. That's what you're doing right now. You're shitting on the bodies of American heroes, poor boys who were sent across the ocean to fight for the freedom of others for no other reason then the sake of freedom, for the sake of God. You are basically shitting on God because of your guilt. Why do you have to feel so guilty, you asshole? You've screwed everything up. And the firefighters. The firefighters are basically dying in vain because of you. You feeling the way you feel and living the way you live is basically akin to killing firefighters and shitting on their children. You are a shitty person and the cause of all that is wrong in this country and world. Stop feeling guilty!
# posted by 
: 4:41 PM
: 4:41 PM
Oh my god, you're so insensitive. Actually, no, you're right. You should feel guilty because you're infringing on the rights of others by making someone else go in your place, no matter what your health is... wait, is the person going in your place a white male? Because in that case, it wouldn't matter.
# posted by : 4:44 PM
: 4:44 PM
Oh my god, you're so insensitive. 89.7% insensitive, to be precise. Normally, I'd say that you're 71% insensitive because it's important to treat homos with love and respect, but a lesbian friend of mine didn't invite me to her wedding so now obviously all lesbians are white GOP males, and only gay men are protected species, hence the different values.
# posted by : 4:48 PM
: 4:48 PM
Your eyes are utterly disgusting when you have pink eye. You are utterly disgusting when you have pink eye. And so it's very good that you didn't go. Send them a picture of your disgusting pink eyed self so they can know just how lucky they are that you cancelled.
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# posted by : 4:51 PM
: 4:51 PMSubscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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